You know you have a GIRL if…

I do not have girls, so I asked the expert, Jenna McCarthy, about life with girls. Here is her list.

1. Everything you own is dusted with glitter.

2. You’ve had to justify your pedicure to a four year old. (“Because mommy has a job and you don’t, that’s why.”)

3. Your ability to make a straight part has been questioned so many times you’ve begun to secretly doubt it yourself.

You Know You Have a Girl If3. You field questions like “why do you have a string coming out of your butt?” and “when will I get fur on my vajayjay?” pretty much every day.

4. You know every word to every Taylor Swift, Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato and Zendaya song ever recorded.

5. You hide broken shells, single Barbie shoes, stray playing cards and cracked plastic Easter eggs to throw away later just to avoid hysteria.

7. “Ample stuffed animal storage” has eclipsed “school district” and “views” on your dream house must-have list.

8. There’s an impossibly tiny, tight tushie in your house that reminds you constantly that your own tushie is no longer tiny or tight.

9. You separate your laundry into darks, lights… and pinks.

10. You’ve offered cash money in exchange for silence more than once. (Nobody has ever taken you up on it.)

You Know You Have a Boy If…

Jenna McCarthy is an internationally published writer, TED speaker, former radio personality and the author of five books including If It Was Easy They’d Call the Whole Damn Thing a Honeymoon: Living with and Loving the TV-Addicted, Sex-Obsessed, Not-so-handy Man You Married (Berkley Books, 2011). (Please note that it says the blah-blah-blah man you married, not the one she married. Her husband likes it when she points that out.) You can find out how Jenna survived tanorexia and watch the hilarious trailer for her latest book by visiting her website.