My husband and I were driving home from our Mommy Daddy day and we were listening to a segment on Howard Stern about Narcissism. Turn out Robin is the biggest Narcissist in the group. Who knew? Anyway, I started thinking about all the things I do that could be considered Narcissistic and then I started thinking about my 2 year old. Recently she has started to demand “Look at me, Look at me”, “Watch me Mummy”, and “Take a picture of me!” She’ll spend forever looking into the mirror and often will ask if her outfit matches. I know a number of you are thinking “Well, she’s 2, that’s a very normal 2 year old thing to do.” Well, she very well might be just like every other 2 year old out there, but when does the “Look at me” stage end and while we’re at it where does it start?
I just turned 37 at the beginning of the month and I’m still waiting to grow out of the “look at me stage”. Until my wedding day, which was just another “look at me” day, but that’s a different story, from the time I was little, there has always been some sort of performance that I was rehearsing for. Elementary school it was dance recitals, JR. High is was more dancing, High School yet more dancing, and college, yep you guessed it, more dancing. I’ve cheered/danced for a NFL team, I’ve been a Go-Go dancer (though we wore a bit more clothes then they wear today), I’ve been a back up dancer for number of different bands, I’ve danced in a burlesque show, I’ve DJ’d, I’ve MC’d and I’ve co-owned and ran a dance agency. All those years I spent either in front of a mirror or in front of an audience. My life has pretty much been one big “Look at Me” and I have loved every minute of it. I’ve actually had a hard time adjusting to not being on a stage or in a spotlight since Ellie was born. Of course I love to dance, but I’ve actually begun to question what I loved more Dancing or Performing. There has to be someone I can blame for my Narcissism. Yet another narcissistic characteristic I have, it can’t possible be my fault.
Where did this all start? Does it start from the day we’re born? Think about it. Infants come into this world being showered with love and attention.Babies get nothing ews and awes, and then there’s the “look what my baby can do” moments. Toddlers are our own personal variety show and parents are always trying to get them to perform for others, “look what my kid can do.” My husband is constantly having someone, anyone watch what ever trick Ellie is performing at that moment. We tend to turn our sweet babies in to trained performing monkeys.
Then the day comes when your sweet little toddler utters those 3 little words “look at me” and life with a Toddler takes on a completely different meaning. You are no longer in control of the show, your toddler is now the Master of Ceremonies and you have no one to blame, but yourself. For the next umpteen years you’ll have to hear “Look at me Mommy”, “Watch me Daddy”, “Look at what I can do” and my personal favorite “Take a picture of me”.
Wait…so does that mean that my husband and I are creating another narcissist? Wait, I think that means I can blame my parents for my own Narcissistic struggle, thus my daughters narcissism isn’t really my fault at all. It’s my Parents fault!!! 😉
I feel so much better. 🙂 LOL