As the story of my life unfolds it has become abundantly clear that thirty percent of it will be spent sleeping, twenty percent at the grocery store, ten percent drinking, eight percent eating, and fifteen percent in a phone store replacing my boys’ phones.
This weekend, both of the boys managed to kill their phones. Death by carelessness.
Keenan because he doesn’t know the definition of gentle and rips the charger out from the middle of the cord instead of at the base of the phone and pulled the entire plug-in section out with the cord. I should just be grateful he hasn’t gnawed through the cord like he used to do with his xbox controller cords until we started buying wireless. Yes?
Noah, my dear Noah, can’t seem to figure out that putting his phone in his pocket, no matter how many times it ends up water logged is a REALLY bad idea. This weekend he checked a text, responded, shoved the phone in his pocket, proceeded to the end of a diving board and jumped in. They were SWIM TRUNKS.
So yesterday, I hired a sitter for Colton, because how many times can I make the kid suffer through yet another trip to the phone store? (Also because the last time we were there he might have pulled a phone off of the wall set up. And. Did you know you can actually call people on those phones? It’s true. Colton did it.) I threw the phones in my purse and headed out for a day of work at the local coffee shop and then to get the boys’ phone situation handled.
As I entered the store, several employees looked up and waved. “Hey Stefanie,” a few of them yelled with a smile. I mean really. If a couple of weeks pass and I haven’t been in the store, I get an email asking if everything is okay. If I went a whole month, I am sure they would put out an APB. I wouldn’t know, because I have never gone that long.
I handled the phones and an hour later plopped my butt back down at the coffee shop to finish work. That’s when it occurred to me. OMG. The silence. The peace. The quiet. It was three o’clock in the afternoon and I hadn’t had one “Can I go to Bryan’s house” or “Can Max spend the night.” Not a single, “What should I eat” or “Will you go to the store we have no food in the house.” No “When are you coming homes” or “What’s for dinners.” Not ONE SINGLE “are the phones fixed yet, do we still have our contacts, how long before you’re home?” Not. One.
I started giggling. I looked around and several people had stopped what they were doing and were looking at me. I wanted to shout out to them, “HOLY CRAP people. I am having the greatest day EVER. My kids haven’t been able to reach me. All. Day. DO YOU HEAR ME.” *grabs megaphone* “I have had five straight, count ’em people, F-I-V-E hours with no kid interruptions.” *climbs up on chair* “Let’s start a revolution. Let’s take away their cell phones. Let’s take back our freedom. Who is with me? Shout it out. I deserve a life too.”
At this point my computer dinged to let me know that I had received a Facebook update.
*drops head on the table in defeat*