Yesterday I was in the pediatrician’s office. AGAIN. Though Noah’s fever finally broke on Wednesday, he suddenly developed a rash from head to toe which caused all my panic buttons to start ringing and my wheel to start spinning. While we were waiting for the doctor to come in I texted my girlfriend, “Are you there Martini? It’s me Margaret.”
Unbeknownst to me, Noah was looking over my shoulder.
Noah: What does that mean?
Me: Oh, it’s just a reference to a book that all girls read when they are young.
Noah: What was it about?
Me: Girl stuff. You know. That time of the month.
Noah: (Confused) How old were you when you read it?
Me: Oh, probably around twelve. Most girls “start” when they are twelve.
Noah: (Wide eyed) Drinking martinis?
Me: No sweetie, we start drinking martinis when we have kids. We start our periods when we are twelve.
Noah: (Disgusted) Dude.