Okay so this is it…the Home Stretch as “they” say. Whoever they are. I wonder if they are also very pregnant. I am 37 weeks and feel like this baby is coming anyday now. I realize that all third trimester women feel like it could be anyday now, but I really do feel that way. I am supposed to hold on to let the baby get a little fatter. He’s only in the 13th percentile right now. Kind of sad. I have not gained any weight in 9 weeks. I realize you want to hit me right now but hold off, I am TRYING to gain weight. I think trying to gain and not has to be just as frustrating as trying NOT to gain. I am kind of a freak of nature right now. I stuff my face at every chance I get, often eating more than I am comfortable eating and nothing. Now the belly is getting bigger so someone is gaining, but the scale says no. I am just hoping this is some freakish thing where he’s gaining and I am not. Wouldn’t that be grand? It’s actually been a little scary but now that I am getting closer I am not as worried. Both my other children were early and 6-7 lbs. We just need this little guy to get to 6 and his Mamma and Daddy will be happy. Oh and did I mention my Dr. is out of town? Yeah, awesome. So I am doing the leg cross until Monday. I have been having contractions for 2 weeks now. Today they were 20 min apart and then nothing. All I am left with is a sore back and a larger amount of impatientnece. (I realize that is not a word).
For the new Mom’s out there, let me tell you what they don’t tell you about the last few weeks. 1. Nesting happens but I think it comes from being annoyed more than anything that your house is a wreck and that you don’t want your kid to meet his home for the first time and go “Really, Mom? Couldn’t have straightened up a bit?”
2. You will pee on yourself all the time. Yes, it’s true. You will lean over to brush your teeth…and pee a little. You will be doing the dishes and all of a sudden…pee a little. The best is if you are out in public, minding your own business and reach in your trunk for something only to discover that pee is now running down your leg. You think I am kidding? Invest in extra underwear and keep a change of clothes in the car. Then think of me when you pee. 🙂
3. People writing your 2 week long contractions off to Braxton Hicks will actually start to tick you off. It’s as if they are saying “Oh those are just painless little hiccups, practice contractions for the real thing.” THEY ARE REAL! At least towards the end and they hurt too! You own your contractions ladies. You will know when it’s real, trust me. If it follows by you sayaing “Well that sucked” outloud to yourself, it was real.
4. Men are not born with the ability to know what we need when we need it most. You may think that your moaning and groaning, old lady waddle walk will tell your man you could really use a back rub. Nope, you have to ask. Or that your grip of steal on his forearm during a contraction translates to “put down the remote and take care of me.” You have to ask for what you need. Be direct or you will resent them for not reading your mind or non-verbal complaints. I live with a very giving man who has had NO clue this last month that all I want is for him to offer up a backrub, foot rub, any rub! So ask for what you need and you will both be happy.
5. Sex is good. If you like it, make sure to tell your Dr. not to mention out loud the baby’s position with your man in the room. In the end they doctor will offer up statements (when his hand is inside you) like “Yep, that’s a butt right there” or “I can touch his head, he’s pretty low.” As you can imagine, this will pretty much halt any and all activity as now your husband knows exactly how close Jr. is to the action. No man wants to know how close he really is to his baby’s face.
6. We are all different. Every pregnant woman goes through her own bought of battles. Don’t ever make another pregnant woman feel bad because she appears less miserable than you. I assure you, we are all equally as miserable. 🙂
7. You do not need to go baby shopping everyday until you pop. You do not need to run to the store to get MORE pacifier cases or another adorable onsie. Save your energy and money. You will be amazed what you really don’t need and how much of what you do need you don’t have. In the beginning…they don’t need much. Save your gift cards ladies and stretch it out. Diapers are not cheap.
8. If this is your first you may not realize that visitors shortly after birth, will be a regret. I don’t mean your Mom (if she’s the helpful type) I mean other peoples Moms or anyone else that wants to be around a little one. In the first two weeks you envisioned yourself cuddling your baby and napping. Staring at them with love, floating through your days just being a new Mom. Well…sure, but there’s also the awkward trying to get breast feeding down, either taking care of stitches or running to the bathroom because you have to change your diaper sized pad yet again. Your boobs are leaking, your shirts are getting soaked and you are so tired you don’t even notice the wet spots. Did I mention exhausted? You will also feel as if you have not showered in what seems like an eternity. You don’t want visitors. Tell them to wait a few weeks and then decide if you are comfortable. You get to call the shots, you are the new Mamma and everyone has to respect that.
9. The belly does not go away the day the baby is born. I am AMAZED at how many new mothers don’t know this. My own mother was devastated after she had me that she still had a swollen belly. You will look anywhere from 3-6 months pregnant. Your uterus just made a miracle, now it has to take some time to close up shop and shrink back down. Breast feeding helps. You will also be amazed that you did not have a 40 pound baby since that’s what you gained. Be patient and still love your body, you just did something pretty cool with it. If your man makes a single comment, even half of a comment, you have my permission to sock him in the nose.
10. Last thing to remember (and I keep telling myself these days) is all of this discomfort and even the pains of labor will soon be forgotten. You will never really “forget” but it will be replaced with the most amazing thing you have ever known. Your baby. I am on my third child and no less amazed and excited for my new son. To meet him and to have him meet us. Come on Logan! We’re ready! (Just make sure it’s after 7pm on Monday so the Dr can be here. )