Everyone said, you’ll know when you know. “What the hell does that mean”, I wondered. Slowly, in small snippets, I started to notice certain reactions I would have. I noticed I wasn’t the one at parties offering to hold everyone’s babies, I preferred a glass of wine in my hands instead. I noticed I was no longer all gushy and baby talky over other people’s babies. And then, one day as everyone said, I just knew. No more babies. Three was plenty.
10 Ways You Know You Are Done Having Babies
1. You daydream about sending your current children to overnight camp. All year long.
2. When you see new mothers with their newborns you resist the urge to pat her on the arm and tell her it’s going to be ok.
3. The thought of waking up in the middle of the night to change a diaper or feed a baby makes you dream of going out for milk never to return.
4. You schedule your husbands vasectomy, ask him to meet you for lunch, send him the address of the clip doc’s office and meet him there with a picnic basket.
5. When you find out your friend is having a baby your first thought is not, “congratulations”, it’s, “you poor thing”.
6. The sound of a newborn baby’s cry makes you double up on your birth control pills.
7. That once wonderful newborn baby smell now triggers your gag reflex.
8. Your baby shower gifts have gone from cute little onsies to a care package including ear plugs, bourbon and one way ticket on Amtrak.
9. You would rather have a root canal then go to a mommy and me class.
10. When people ask if you are having one more: