Poor Tom will not be in San Francisco this weekend. His deflated ego and balls will just have to find other ways to occupy their time.
10 Things Tom Brady Will (Likely) Be Doing Instead of Playing This Sunday
- Getting some long overdue manscaping.
- Organizing his hair products in alphabetical order.
- Putting Donald Trump posters in his neighbor’s front yards.
- Texting Ben Affleck to see when if he and his nanny friend can go to Vegas for the weekend.
- Taking the Deflater out to dinner to show his gratitude and appreciation for keeping his mouth shut.
- Finally framing all of his GC covers.
- Cleaning out his closet to make room for his spring wardrobe.
- Group texting all the other QB’s in the league for advice on how they deal with being a loser.
- Binge watching his four Superbowl wins.
- Interviewing marriage counselors.
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